My dad passed away on Oct. 30. Fortunately, I was able to get to WI in time to be by his side when he breathed his last. He knew I was there - he responded to my voice and called me by my name. So I will always have that memory to sustain me.

I will miss the good daddy he was to me when I was a child - all the baseball games and basketball games and bike rides. Teaching me how to drive. There are a lot of warm memories I have that help keep my spirits up.

I am sure he is in a better place now, and maybe someday we will be reunited.

I love you, Dad, and will miss you.

Your Jenny

Posted by jbach74 at 10:58 AM EST

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Oct. 16 was the fourth anniversary of my kitty moving in with me. I'm so glad he did.

I'm trying the Hollywood cookie diet. Four cookies for breakfast and lunch. I'm OK at breakfast, but I need something else light at or soon after lunch. So I guess the diet half-works. Better than not at all.

I'm also trying Dexatrim to see if it actually works. So far, it really seems to be curbing my appetite. Unless it is just a placebo effect.

Posted by jbach74 at 1:47 PM EDT

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Mood:  blue

Well, Mr. NY is letting me down. He missed a prearranged chat session on Sunday night. No explanation. This is the second prearranged chat he has missed. I need someone I can count on to keep his promises. The worst part is, he doesn't seem to be getting my peeved e-mails. He is writing me full of all happiness and light, wishing me a good day, etc. And he was disappointed that I wasn't online to chat with last night, ha! So there must be a problem on his end with receiving my messages - I tested the account I was using to send them, and it tested okay. But I tried sending him a message from one of my other accounts anyway - we'll see if he gets that one. If not, well, too bad. I'm not going to call him or anything. Let him get puzzled by my apparent silence, and let him try calling me.

Grrr. I had thought I had broken free of him, and he's just not getting the message - literally.

I think I'm going to ixnay the dating thing and concentrate on my cat. At least I can always depend on him.

Speaking of Murray, I have abandoned the idea of leash-training him. Though he had showed some early progress, he decided he was going to adopt a new stragegy - just lying in one spot when the walking jacket was on him, refusing to move until I took it off. That pretty much defeats the purpose of the walking jacket, so I'm going to return it and the leash. Oh well, it was worth a shot. I guess he's happy enough being an indoor kitty. He's adjusted very well despite having had free reign of the outdoors as a stray.

Posted by jbach74 at 12:45 PM EDT

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I'm not sure how my folks would feel about Mr. New York, since he's black (and my parents are older and have some old-fashioned ideas... not that that excuses it) and fifty-two. I always attract older guys - when I was in my twenties I attracted guys in their forties, and now in my thirties I attract guys in their fifties.

He also wants kids and I really don't, but if he's otherwise the perfect person I would make the sacrifice to have kids if he felt strongly enough about it...

Posted by jbach74 at 5:40 PM EDT

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Mood:  happy

I met a guy online I really like. He is in New York now but moving here soon. He is very handsome and well-spoken. I feel a definite spark.

Meanwhile, I told another nice guy I went out with a couple times that although I like him, I don't feel that romantic passion. Too bad...

Posted by jbach74 at 11:58 AM EDT

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A guy I met online came over Friday night for swimming but turned out to be a loser. At first, things were going well. He told me he was more comfortable with me than he'd ever been with any other woman, etc. But at the end of the night, things took a negative turn. He is far more into the physical side of a relationship than I am, at least early on - it takes me a while to develop the comfort level and trust needed for that stuff. So he ridiculed me, saying no man would accept my "old-school" attitude. He also had the nerve to tell me I'm a bad kisser. Well, I know a number of other men who would say quite the opposite! ;-)  So, anyway, I told this guy that I didn't think we were compatible. I don't need a guy who tries to make me feel bad about my value system and way of operating in a relationship. Or my kissing skills.

Then, last night, I was supposed to go dancing with another guy, but the club was closed. But the guy never made it that far, because he got lost. So he called me and we planned to meet at a Denny's midway between where he was and I was. But even though I told him exactly where the Denny's was and how to get there, he got lost again. So I told him to forget it. And I said he seems like a nice guy, but getting together seems to be too complicated, so we should just let things go. He didn't do a whole lot for me anyway, based on the online interaction we'd had, so no big deal.

Today was much better. I had a lunch date with another guy, and he was actually on time, and he was a good conversationalist. I enjoyed myself a great deal and would definitely see him again. He's a little old, though - fifty - but oh well, at least that makes him more mature than some guys closer to my age.

I have a lunch date next weekend with yet another guy. He seems really nice, so I am looking forward to it...

Posted by jbach74 at 10:01 PM EDT

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